Excerpt
The Madwoman in this Poem
(After Bronwen Wallace)
For Gudrun
Yet how stupendous a psychosis
in which God is heard…
Gudrun Hinze
The madwoman in this poem
lives on the twenty-second floor
of a block of flats
her husband and children gone
each day she waits for a letter
that never comes
her wrists carry a flurry of scars
her arms are dotted with cigarette burns
every day she contemplates jumping.
The madwoman in this poem
walks the streets
reciting Shakespeare and Milton
she shelters in bus stops and doorways
scrounges through rubbish bins
drinks from discarded beer bottles
begs for money to buy cigarettes
and a moment’s respite.
The madwoman in this poem
slumps into a ramshackle chair
hiding herself
her large torpid body founders
her heavy breasts gush
drug-induced lactation
her body grows
with each anti-crazy pill
she reluctantly swallows.
The madwoman in this poem
transfixes in front of the TV
absorbing its many messages
Ally McBeal is her daughter
Eddie McGuire can read her mind
Ridge and Brooke are talking to her
are going to come in a helicopter
take her to Venice to meet Brad Pitt.
The madwoman in this poem
lives in a holy grotto
awaiting the Pilgrims
she carries the burden of Eve
smells God in the toilet
sees the Virgin above the lintel
has given birth to the New Messiah
carries the secret of the Holy Grail in her heart
was raped by the Devil
sees maggots wriggling in her stigmata.
The madwoman in this poem
is sure Beethoven stole the
nine symphonies from her
cannot walk on the cracks of the pavement
can feel spiders eating her brain
fears her head is about to explode
is going to the firing squad next morning
is a character in a Bruegel painting
is an oracle of the dead.
The madwoman in this poem
is everywoman
is any woman
is a mother, daughter
sister, lover, friend —
the madwoman in this poem —
is me.
Contents
Acknowledgements ix
The Madwoman in this Poem 1
Sensing Madness 4
Congratulations 5
Medicated 7
Cold Chemical Comfort 8
Marinade 10
Unquiet Mind 11
Of Shifting Images & Auras 12
Acrostic #1 13
Seeing the Insane 14
Waging War 15
Alice in Larundel Land 16
The Dark Hours 19
Dangling 20
Ceaseless Night 21
The Witching Hour 22
The Burrow 23
Mental Rape 24
Occupy My Mind 25
Caring for My Mind 26
Therapy: Prices Update 27
Passover 28
To Melancholia 29
Into the Dark Wood 31
The Mad Poet’s Tea Party 32
Acrostic #2 35
Seroquelled 36
SuperMadwoman 37
I Peeped 38
How? 39
Solitude 40
Awakening 41
Spirals 42
McMadness 44
I Called You Mad 47
There’s Something Dead in My House 49
When They Came to Get You 50
I am Not the Same Person 51
Surgery of the Soul 52
Threadbare 53
Calculating the Cost 54
Suicide 55
Staying Alive 56
To Be or Not To Be 57
Beggar 58
Housemate 59
Downsizing 60
The Social Worker 61
Where is the Rage? 62
The Sanity App 63
Done to Death 66
A Life 67
