By Spinifex Press Intern Jacalyn Tennant
I had to read this twice as I was appalled by the story on The Age website suggesting adultery can save a marriage. This idea, sparked by Catherine Hakim, a British social scientist and bestselling author, explains the faithful as ‘caged animals’ who need to be set free. Now, fair to say, I am not married and may not be the best woman to discuss the perfect marriage. I also refuse to believe however that this is what I will have to look forward to. Where ‘I do’s’ and ‘You’ll do’s’ become the marital and sexual norm.
This story comes not long after the Catholic Church declaring women are too picky and should just choose Mr. Good Enough or else face missing out. I do not recall a rule book that quoted women had to be married to be successful or, more importantly, happy. I do not believe as women, or any person for that matter, lowering expectations or settling for less than we deserve ever worked out in our benefit. I cannot see then how getting married only to have numerous affairs is ever going to be the answer.
Having secret lovers without fear of divorce has never been the dream for me, just as I suspect is the case for many women. Since when was spending life with one person so terrible? Seems that as our society becomes more and more sexualised, our sense of morals and self respect seem to fly away with the lengths of material taken off the bottom of skirts and tops. The way some things become ‘traditional’ may possibly be because they work. A faithful marriage may not seem ‘hip’ in this sexy world, but I for one couldn’t dream of it any other way.